Last year I read certain horror novels and wondered if I didn’t have a place as a modern horror reader. I could still easily dive into classic horror like Stoker, Machen, Le Fanu, Lovecraft and his literary godchildren but modern horror? Was I too old and cranky? Especially after my disappointment with Grady Hendrix and The Final Girl Support Group. Don’t get me wrong, Grady Hendrix is an interesting voice for modern horror, but he’s been moving closer to almost too precious for words, too all-knowing voice, veering into Horror’s Patton Oswalt for my tastes.
I can’t even with Patton Oswalt. Between this and knowing I don’t do Anne of Green Gables, if this is the final straw and you’ve decided I’m a complete monster and will never read another thing I write, it’s okay, I understand.
Also, it’s been how many months and I still can’t eat pasta or noodles. Damn you, Grady Hendrix.
Excuse me, you might interrupt, but are you going to babble about a book or your stupid food aversions and I’m too different thing?
Hold your horses, I am going to babble about a book, that of course, I found at my local library. Today’s book, My Heart Is A Chainsaw by one Stephen Graham Jones. Now I might be on the fringes of modern horror but even I recognize that name even if I never read one of his books until this month. I read A LOT and it’s possible I’ve read one of his short stories in the past.
My Heart Is A Chainsaw, which does this sound like a long-lost Nirvana album or is my age showing, is the story of one Jennifer “Jade” Daniels, an outsider in the tiny Idaho community of Proofrock. Jade looks like she should be best friends with Nancy from The Craft with her wild dyed hair, more black eyeliner than peek Siouxsie Sioux and battered clothes. She’s smart and obsessed to with horror movies to the point even I’m all “girl please”. Proofrock could be the ideal setting for a 1980s low budget horror movie with a spooky haunted lake legend and an abandoned summer camp with a tragic past. If My Heart Is A Chainsaw was a 1980s horror movie, Jade’s seen it all history teacher Mr. Holmes aka Sherlock or Bear, could only be played by David Warner or Donald Sutherland. But it’s not the 1980s and the modern world is creeping into Proofrock along with a new housing development called Terra Nova catering to the rich and famous.
Of course, being a horror novel, things…happen. Or do they? Jade has a history of instability and has spent time hospitalized after a suicide attempt. Is Jade an unreliable narrator, keeping secrets from herself or are the things happening just occurrences that might happen in any town undergoing a transformation after a tragic past.
Now if you’re curious and want me to spoil the rest of the plot, no. Get your hands on My Heart Is A Chainsaw and read it yourself.
I will say My Heart Is A Chainsaw kept me guessing and reading one handed while making dinner. I don’t suggest this unless you have the spare cash to replace a library book if it falls into the oven or a simmering pot. Note: I did not drop or damage my library copy but hey, it could happen especially when REDACTED SERIOUSLY REDACTED OH MY TULU REDACTED.
Long story short? My Heart Is A Chainsaw is what I hoped The Final Girl Support Group would be. I might not vibe with modern horror as I did years ago but there are still books out there for readers like me.
whiskeytangowendymarie.com 