No, that’s NOT what Blacklight says to me when I’m jumping up and down on Mr Couch shrieking like a mad thing because my movie boyfriends Colin Firth and Christian Bale are now Academy Award winners. For that little stunt, Blacklight muttered something about “married” and “who cares” and “not in a million years”. Whatever…

However, Blacklight’s meanness aside, The World is Full of Married Men! Well, at least that’s what the late 1980s reissue of Jackie Collins first novel proclaims. Remember this is out feline goddess taking her first baby steps as a big bad writer. It’s 1968 and the Jackie rocking the book charts is Susann not Collins. The Santangelo clan is light years away. What we have is a morsel of a novel, all big print and simple themes. Married men aren’t faithful, Even the best wife can stray and girls called Claudia are sluts! And girls called Shirley…well, can you say ho-ho-ho children?

Our tale starts off with a bang…well the first paragraph is “When I was fifteen I was amazing, absolutely amazing! Dear Mummy was terrified to let me out on my own; she felt I was bound to come home pregnant, or something silly like that.” The actual banging is a few pages away. Our amazing girl? One Miss Claudia Parker, possible face of Beauty Maid soap. Will she get the job? Will she boink the ad agency guy David until he begs for mercy? This is a Jackie Collins novel what do you think? Honestly…

While David is romping with the luscious and loose Claudia, his wife Linda is going through her own adventures. The perfect wife and mother has an affair with a younger man which goes so very wrong. And then she catches David with our Beauty Maid Claudia on a terrace. And the next thing you know, change the locks and D-I-V-O-R-C-E (side note: had to sing the Tammy Wynette song to myself to make sure I spelled that particular word correctly).

Does David notice or care? Hard to tell because he’s living a glamorous life with Claudia in a penthouse. Only Claudia has more on her plate than David, she wants more including a film career and will do anything to get it. David gets tired of the parties and leaves. Claudia stays on the ho stroll. David boinks his very plain secretary. David and Linda’s divorce goes through. Linda starts seeing an old friend of David’s. Claudia’s ho stroll takes a dangerous turn while Linda finds happiness and David finds himself trapped in a web of his own making.

It’s a quick read. People get theirs. Secrets are revealed (pssst Claudia’s done PORN! I know, clutch the pearls child! Blacklight “You might wanna cut back on the RuPaul Drag Race thing a little honey! NEVER I SAY NEVER! Team Raja 4EVER!). There’s no roman a clef. it’s a a tale that can play out anywhere at any time. Cheating husband, neglected wife, slutty side piece, secretary in love with her boss. For a first effort it’s not too bad and compared to certain later works…a gem! How many best selling novels from 43 years ago can you say THAT about?