The Two Mrs Abbotts

Ever put down Miss Buncle Married and wondered what our old friend Barbara is up to now? I mean, it’s Barbara Buncle Abbott we’re talking about. She must have been up to delicious adventures…

Well, there is a third book in the Miss Buncle series, The Two Mrs Abbotts. Unless you had a very good library system or the luck of the gods at a used bookstore then you had to wonder. Luckily, the local library system was able to unearth The Two Mrs Abbotts but I was only able to get my little undead raccoon hands on it after Sourcebooks Landmark re-issued The Two Mrs Abbotts in trade paperback last month… <sigh>

When you first pick up The Two Mrs Abbotts, you might be tempted to shriek “Oh my gods! There’s two of them!?!?!?!”. Calm down. Of course there’s two Mrs Abbotts. Barbara married to the successful publisher Arthur Abbott and Jerry married to Arthur Abbott’s nephew Sam. Remember? Sam fell head over heels for Jerry in Miss Buncle Married. When we re-discovered our friends, it’s World War II and out of all the houses to host Sarah Walker (the doctor’s wife and who Silverstream thought was John Smith in Miss Buncle’s Book) during a Red Cross talk is the comfortable Abbott home. Sarah sees a picture and figures out her Red Cross talk hostess is the former Barbara Buncle in less time than it takes me to devour an Aero classic chocolate (seconds) while the former Barbara Buncle is her usual delightful confused self and almost needs a diagram to figure everything out. Arthur hasn’t been called up but his nephew Sam is in the army leaving his wife Jerry to batch it at their Elizabethan home.

Now let me address one of the most common complaints about The Two Mrs Abbotts. There are two major ones but I’ll address that later. The most common complaint and one that seems to have people scarlet is, for the book being called The Two Mrs Abbotts, you sure don’t get much of the senior Mrs Abbott (Barbara). This might make a devoted Barbara Buncle follower stop reading this post and declare me a total savage but I actually like getting Barbara Buncle Abbott in small doses. Her presence provides a support or frame for overall story but I don’t need it to be all Barbara all the time. The opening scene chez Abbott with Sarah Walker is delightful even though the Abbott children are just a bit too twee for my tastes. Even the best of the Miss Buncle books, Miss Buncle’s Book, is strongest when Barbara isn’t front and center. Barbara is like the almond extract in my favorite Lindt truffles, a few drops go a long, long way. Full on Barbara would be like licking the almond extract spoon when I make almond crescents. Gross and overwhelming.

But back to the goings on in war time Wandlebury. While life with the senior Abbotts doesn’t seem to be that much affected by the war, unless you count Arthur Abbott having Janetta Walters as an author with his publishing company. Given his reaction to her offerings, romances, I kept wondering if D.E. Stevenson was a having a poke at Georgette Heyer or Angela Thirkell. If she was parodying Georgette Heyer, that’s a laugh because you know how I thought the will plot in Miss Buncle Married was quite Georgette Heyer mystery-ish and had to double check to make sure I was reading D.E. Stevenson. Or I could just being having one of my Crazy Literary Theories. Why so mad about poor Janetta Walters, hmm Arthur?

Things are much different for the other Mrs Abbott. Sam’s off at war, and Jerry doesn’t have two darling moppets in her nursery being tended by Markie. Jerry and Markie are dealing with the stomp stomp stomp of combat boots from the local military camp that have turned Jerry’s kitchen into their clubhouse. And instead of trying to give Cook orders for dinner, Jerry is trying to keep an eye on her loathsome evacuees in the cottage down the way. Mama Evacuee is a blowsy bish who longs to go back home more than I longed for her to be off the page. D.E. Stevenson seems to “care” for evacuees as much as Angela Thirkell does. Then again in these ladies novels, horses and dogs always come off better than the lowest classes.

Mama Evacuee goes back to her sluttish lair dragged her spawn with her and before Markie can get the evacuee stink out of the cottage, evacuee spawn Elmie (government name Wilhelmina) is back and wants to better her life. And Jerry gets a paying guest Jane who has the most unflattering mannish haircut and no clue about housework. While Jerry tries to puzzle out Jane and see if she would make a good wife candidate for her brother Archie, the cottage gets the right kind of tenant, Colonel Melton from the military camp and his doting daughter Melanie.

Jerry wonders if Melanie should be in the running for Archie. But Archie has his own ideas and we find out Jane is actually the author Janetta Walters. I’m not sure if it’s because my main complaint about The Two Mrs Abbotts (in short…the book is too damn short and the plot is letting hanging in too many places) but even my stuffed Beanie Baby sized Minecraft Creeper figured out Jane=Janetta Walters. But I’ll forgive D.E. Stevenson for not making it harder to figure this out because she does give the reader a little plot straight out of the best Nancy Drew stories.

There are rumors of a spy lurking around Wandlebury. The military camp is on high alert and at one point thinks Elmie/Wilhelmina’s father on a mission to drag her back to their slum home is the spy. If the Germans did manage to invade? Mr Boles (Elmie/Wilhelmina’s father) is the exact sort that would be dealing with the Germans or on the black market. In my head? Mr Boles is Steve Buscemi at his most rough and weaselly.

Then one day on a walk, Markie, who is deaf but not stupid in the least even though she will not go to the damn doctor and find out if she has cancer or not already, stumbles across a man sleeping in the words. Markie takes one look at him, decides he’s German by the shape of his head, snatches up his gun and leads the military camp to him. Everyone is all “ohhh silly Markie” and then our sleepy hottie (played in my head by a blonde Michael Fassbender) wakes up and speaks in German. Markie is all “don’t be scared, and no sudden moves because we’re got your gun. I’m not kidding”. And then everyone is all “Damn…you go Markie!” Nancy Drew could not have done it better. Wait, Nancy Drew would have used her handkerchief, her spare handkerchiefs and her leather belt wrapped around her slender waist to tie up the “sleeping hottie”.

Now to my main complaint with The Two Mrs Abbotts. This book is much too short!!! The plot needs, no demands, at least 75 more pages to finish everything properly. There is one part where we see what the war is like for Sam, in his eyes and BAMMM! We’re back in Wandlebury and never see him again. I wanted more about Helen (Jane’s sister) taking over as Janetta Walters. I wanted to see if the creepy vibe I got from Colonel Melton and Melanie was just my fevered imagination and if Lancastre  Marvell could snake her away from Daddy Dearest. An abrupt ending like the one in The Two Mrs Abbotts is all fine and good for an Angela Thirkell novel since she churned out her Barsetshire series forever and a day. But unless you’re doing an epic and never ending series? Don’t do this. Seriously. Either write the book long enough to finish things off or don’t bother if it’s a one off. Then again? Didn’t I have the same it ended to damn soon problem with D.E. Stevenson’s Celia’s House? Feeling the book I was reading felt like a warmup or first half of a novel versus a whole novel.

The Two Mrs Abbotts is certainly worth reading even if the blasted thing is much too short. D.E. Stevenson captures certain wartime experiences to a t like when the Wandleburyrites marvel over an egg. Yes, the same things you can snap up for $1.49 a dozen at Aldis. But remember, in World War II England? Even in the country,  fresh eggs were like gold. And there were recipes even more gag worthy floating around than the cake the ladies make at Jerry’s or Markie’s recipe for macaroni cheese. I would not recommend reading The Two Mrs Abbotts as a standalone book because you truly need to have the other two Miss Buncle novels under your belt to get the best out of a much too short novel.