Abominable Science!

Ever since I was a tiny BookGwen I have loved and been scared by the unusual. If I really probed and peeled back the layers of memory I could lay the blame for this at the feet of two things, The Dadster taking the toddler me to see JAWS (it was the 70s and he was bored at home) and Leonard Nimoy’s In Search Of… and maybe that friend of The Dadster who BELIEVED BELIEVED in all the stuff. The one who brought over books on aliens, Bigfoot and the Loch Ness Monster. And wait…one more thing…the Time-Life book series Mysteries of the Unknown. 

So as an adult, <full disclosure with head hung in shame> yes, I watched Monster Quest, Mystery Quest, Is It Real? and read some of the books. But I never stomped around the woods or haunted the shores looking for things. First off: you don’t get this vampire pasty going outside. And second: outside is full of bugs and wind and nature… <shudders> And as I aged and learned more, I grew more skeptical.

Now when one of my top 5 favorite, I’ve listened to them so many times I can recite the episodes word for word podcasts interviews authors on their latest work, I drop everything, hop onto my local library’s online catalog and try to get that book if possible. Remember I am POOR and don’t have new book money. <end libraries are awesome plug>

Today’s book is one that Blacklight had to remove from his side of the bed this morning. I might have growled “MINE!” “GIMME!” and “NO TOUCH” as I snatched it away and stashed it on my nightstand. Books are so much better bed partners than husbands. Husbands want you to cook and clean and not leave books on their side of the bed…but back to the book. As commanded by my Monster Talk overlord Blake Smith, I mean, inspired by a recent episode of Monster Talk, I finally got my hands on a copy of  Daniel Loxton and Donald R. Prothero’s Abominable Science!: Origins of the Yeti, Nessie and Other Famous Cryptids?

(A little side story about finally getting my hands on Abominable Science! My local library is broke and is barely hanging on. But two towns over in the same general library network is the rich library who has in the past actually ordered some of the books I recommended for purchase. Their copy is on order. And yes, I have been checking my account at least twice a day so see if Abominable Science! has come in yet. No dice. But another library in our general network had it, so on my day off yesterday I trekked to the wilds (yes wilds, there is a working farm next to this library) and snatched it up two minutes after the library opened!)

First off as a graphic/layout geek (I have stopped reading certain books because the font made me want to puke), Abominable Science! is a gorgeous book. Much time and care has gone into turning out a pleasing product with an easy on the eyes layout and some truly lovely pictures, many in color. And kudos to the cover designer for their pulp magazine inspired layout which makes Abominable Science! really stand out from the sea of books at your local book store. If I had the money, I would have bought the darn thing for the cover alone (says the gal who designed her wedding invitations to look like a pulp romance comic). And it’s heavy. The book itself isn’t over-sized, it’s your standard hardcover size (IE you don’t have to turn it sideways to fit on the shelf) but the paper stock is top notch (another aside: yes, I have judged books on their paper stock-it’s a side effect of the graphic/layout geek thing and having parents who used to work in the sidelines of the printing business). Even more kudos to the folks at  Columbia University Press for putting out such a terrific product at a decent price.

Once you get past the cover, inside is a true treasure. You may want to make sure all spouses are fast asleep, your children are distracted and the pets fed because you do not wanted to get pulled out of reading. Certain people who spend way too much playing Minecraft almost got barred from coming into the bedroom while other people were reading. Sounds extreme? It’s not. A book this good deserves your full attention.

Donald R. Prothero and Daniel Loxton take turns at the helm. Now sometimes this can spell disaster for a book. Other times? Having two authors is genius. Donald is the professor with careful examinations and a drier but still completely compelling way of presenting the facts and theories. It’s like attending an amazing lecture and getting a little bummed when the lecture ends but you know there’s still more lectures coming up. Daniel’s chapters don’t have the same professor feel but are just as compelling and his experiences in the wild as a child and an adult add a certain flavor. This experiment allows both authors to use their differing experiences/educations to really probe into their subjects. To put it in Blacklight terms, it’s like have Jamie and Doofus Guy Adam from Mythbusters break down an experiment. You end a chapter feeling like you understand a subject and what factors influenced how the world at large sees the cryptid. What you don’t feel? Talked down to, pandered to, jerked around or flat out lied to. Abominable Science! is the product of careful research not cut and paste and more cut and paste of things over and over again.

If you are looking for a book that doesn’t give a long hard look at the monsters with a skeptical eye, don’t buy this book. This is not the book for you. Come with me <leads the less skeptical reader over to the woo-woo section of Barnes & Noble and plops them down in a chair with Brad Steiger’s Real Monsters, Gruesome Critters, and Beasts from the Darkside> 

However if you ARE looking for a book that carefully researches each cryptid (the notes are over 50 pages long and fascinating reading in themselves) and cryptozoology,  and will not make you feel like you’ve wasted your time, money and brain cells (coughcoughbradsteigercoughcough) then Abominable Science! is the book to buy. And if you can’t buy it (oh how I know THAT feeling) request your local library buy it. It’s that good!

The Zombie Autopsies

If you’re on the third floor of Company X’s F-ton location and wandering down the aisles, the dark haired chick with the scuffed rectangular glasses in the white oxford with a certain stuffed green monster at her desk and glaring at her dual monitors with a hot pink iPhone 3GS jammed into ears is me. Okay, maybe I’m not exactly glaring at the dual monitors (see scuffed glasses reference, Blacklight is an expensive spouse) but there are iPhone headphones jammed in my ears from the second the clock hits 7am until snack time. And what am I listening to so intently as I process away? HPPodcraft, Stuff You Should Know, Pop Culture Happy Hour, Skeptoid and Monster Talk. And thanks to my podcast habit, I have a huge list of Stuff I Want If I Ever Had Money. Hey…that iPhone? It’s a refurbished/reconditioned 3GS with the cheapest plan known to man, ATT and Company X. And remember those scuffed glasses?

So thank heavens for the Connecticut Public Library system. Because this afternoon while taking some Me Time at the Noah Webster/West Hartford Public Library, I saw IT, the book that had been calling my name, nay, screaming my name at the Blue Back Square Barnes & Noble. Curse Barnes & Noble and curse the good people at Monster Talk and curse Steven C. Schlozman because there was The Zombie Autopsies just sitting there on the shelf in Science Fiction, all “you know you want me. Who needs to pick up boring old lactose free milk and get quarters for laundry?”. Let me tell you it took all my strength to walk away from the book shelf and march out the door and over to the library. Because come on! George Romero wants to do The Zombie Autopsies. GEORGE FREAKING ROMERO!

So I was in the new fiction section of the library. And what did my tiny little hazel eyes see? And what did my little undead paws snatch off the shelf like there were slavering hordes right behind trying to reach the same book? The Zombie Autopsies of course! (You know…the book I’m writing the blog post about?)

Do I even need to say the second the milk was shoved into the fridge and comfy clothes were on, The Zombie Autopsies joined me on Mr Couch for a hot date? And the second I put the finished book down I was reaching for Mr iPhone to tweet how awesome sauce The Zombie Autopsies was?

Here’s the basic plot, it’s 2013, a zombie virus known as Ataxic Neurodegenerative Satiety Deficiency Syndrome (ANSD) has unleashed havoc on the world. Billions are dead, non-infected humanity lives in underground bunkers and an island laboratory might be the one thing that can possibly unlock the secrets of ANSD.

Sounds awesome right? Then again in the wrong hands the above plot could go horribly disaster zone coughcoughdeankoontzcoughcough wrong. Right now Dean Koontz is tearing out his hair plugs and stomping his feet. Calm the bleep down Dean! I read and actually thought Funhouse was a hoot. And your literary biography is great. I just don’t think your take on the basic The Zombie Autopsies plot would be very good. And don’t go strutting around too cocky Mr King, Cell wasn’t very good either. Many an eyeroll betwixt the first and final pages.

Part of what makes The Zombie Autopsies so good is that Steven C. Schlozman is a doctor. A doctor that has the rare of gift of making the tricky science bits seem so basic and easy that even my stuffed dragon baby Bob could understand them. (Bob: “I smart! I not dumb! I real!”) And like Michael Crichton, Schlozman has the knack of making you believe as you sit on your couch “yeah I can totally see this being true and going down”.

If I had to break down The Zombie Autopsies for a Hollywood pitch it would be “okay imagine Max Brooks’ Zombie Survival Guide had a baby with Michael Crichton and Margaret Atwood’s Haidmaid’s Tale now where’s my $30 million?”

So if Shaun of the Dead and The Zombie Survival Guide are in your favorites, scamper down to the library or Barnes & Noble and splash out the $20 for The Zombie Autopsies. Me? I’m off to fill my weekly intralibrary loan request with all zombie things starting with World War Z!