***Holiday Horrors…another May 2011 Eloise series backlog post…READ THIS…IF YOU DARE!***

Who would think a children’s book (I know, I know, Kay Thompson never considered Eloise a children’s book but can you find it in the adult section? NO!) would send me into a screaming rage full of burning questions?

Just who in the name of all that is good and holy are Eloise’s parents canoodling with for management to allow this little monster thing from the depths of hell to stay at their hotel? Don’t other guests complain? Does Eloise’s mother have pictures of herself, the owner of The Plaza and a farm animal?

Because trust me, Eloise is a total brat from hell. Imagine the sheer torture of working there as some little monster races through? Having to smile and be all “oh that’s just Eloise” because you need the job THAT BADLY?

Blacklight: “Honey, aren’t you reading this book a little too deeply?”

Okay, okay, okay. Bottle the rage. Bottle it bottle it bottle it.

It’s Christmas time and Eloise is scampering dampering around The Plaza spreading pure evil Christmas Cheer a la Eloise! There’s presents for everyone! (Golly! No Eloise goes to boarding school until she’s 21? Because THAT WOULD THE MOST AWESOME PRESENT EVER).

Scamper Damper Eloise, Scamper Damper.

Do you have some Advil for me?

No?

FROSTED POP TART!

Eloise’s mother has the sense of mind to be far far far away from The Plaza. Smart woman! Then again she did spawn Eloise. Why? Deal with the devil for her teeny-tiny feet and charge accounts? Hmmm…is Eloise a Meal Ticket baby…okay THINKING WAY TOO HARD AGAIN!

Scamper Damper Eloise.

GET TIPPY NANNIE!

GET TIPPY EVERYONE!

Cue Blacklight pouring tequila shots for EVERYONE!